Socks and Sandals: The Final Solution
August 21, 2008 by Ouiser Boudreaux
Every Tuesday, I pick up a crisp, new C-Ville Weekly and read it play Sudoku. Then I turn to the last page and peruse The Rant. Since I moved to this lovely hamlet, reading the Rant clued me in to some of the dramz going down in C’ville. A real newcomer’s guide, if you will. And one thing that kept popping up was this “Don’t/do wear socks with sandals” thing. For years. Well, folks, I’m ending this debate (or popping the can wide open, again) once and for all. Here’s your guide to when it’s appropriate to wear open toed footwear with fabric designed to cover those distal extremeties we call toes (if you’re a toddler or really old, these rules do not apply to you).
Before I get down and dirty, you may wonder who I think am I to dictate a fashion yea or nay. Well, for one, I sometimes do wear socks with sandals. Gasp! I have a whole dresser drawer dedicated to Smart Wool socks. Another one’s for my running socks. And my shoe fetish doesn’t discriminate against sandals. I have plenty. So there.
I’ll begin with identifying the situations deemed acceptable to don sandals whilst wearing socks:
- Pre- and post-athletic sessions (watch the Olympics already!). Perfectly OKAY to shuffle to the pool or track wearing athletic sandals and socks. And equally fine to relax after you win the gold on the high bar, wiggling your sock-covered toes in your sandals. Not only is it okay, but it feels good on the feet. Good job.
- Pre- and post-hike. Good idea, and if you haven’t tried the thick wool sock and a Birkenstock or Chaco after hiking Old Rag Mountain, get out there and start climbing. Awesome. However, this is really only acceptable if it’s too cold to not pull those socks off and you’re still in the vicinity of the trail head. If it’s summer or you’re walking in civilization, I’d better see toes (sans toe jam) after hiking.
- Cultural dress. Some cultural attire calls for socks and sandals. Not going to argue with that. But unless you’re wearing a kimono and the geta or the zori (or tatami sandals), for example, then take those socks off.
- Medical dress. I get it. Scrubs, socks, and some sort of sandal that will get you through the next 36 hour shift in the ER. If you’re saving lives, wear whatever you want. But keep it in the hospital.
- There is only one other situation where I can think this is . . . somewhat acceptable: You’re sporting a euro-mullet, manpris, and speak with a foreign accent:
Unless the scenario is one of those listed above, socks + sandals = Fail. You can still wear your favorite plaid shirt, cargo shorts and Birks, but leave the wooly socks at home. And puh-lease, NO WHITE SOCKS when wearing shorts and shoes. Don’t make me choke on my coffee when I see you walking down the street.
Any questions?
You’re probably too young to know about striped toe socks and Buffalo Sandals from the mid-seventies.
I stand corrected. they weren’t buffalo sandals, aka Jesus sandals, they were platform sandals.
Awesome article!
Ouiser, now, I have been known to wear wool socks with Birkenstocks in the winter. I am not a hippy; nor am I post-workout, post-surgery.
Do I fail?
This is brilliant. You have actually managed to find several acceptable instances of this fashion faux pas… I am impressed!
While I agree with your assessment, I still hope I never find myself wearing socks & sandals and trying to evaluate whether or not it is acceptable. So with that thought, randomly enough, I was looking back through some photos from the 80’s and found a picture of myself with socks and sandals (teva’s, no less). You can imagine my shocked horror — I would have sworn on my godchild that I had never donned such a combination. But here is the reasoning and a potential addition to your exceptions list (you be the judge):
I was about to get on a plane but had just been stung by a bee — therefore, my foot was very swollen (hence shoes didn’t fit over my fat foot and i had to wear my sandals. i won’t defend the teva’s: back then, in my circle, they were in fashion). But as you know, planes can be cold, especially on exposed feet, so I had socks on. Acceptable? I’m not sure i would say yes!
Dude, this is hot. I’m the guy with blue hair wearing *Smart Wool* socks and Birkenstocks. I love that you don’t even explain it. My foray in modeling is finally getting attention on the interweb!
Smart Wool is the bomb. I wear them with sandals because the ’stocks give me blisters if I walk too much in them.
Regarding socks and sandals on a plane as HeatherM commented: I do it all the time and I think it’s perfectly acceptable. I have the same problem: feet warm in the air port yet freezing on the plane. Sandals w/socks is the only good solution!
Love the article. Keep it coming!
Kyle
I just do not understand what is your commentary on the socks and scandals we wear them all of the time…recently I was called European trash by someone driving bye..so rude Americans
Yes Kyle. No offense, but you fail!
HeatherM–you are right. I did forget a circumstance where this attire is acceptable: Medical maladies of the feet. Go for it!
Kyle–sorry, but definitely a fail. Your style choice begs the question: Why are you not wearing proper shoes during the winter? Wool socks are great, but didn’t your mother ever warn you, “What if your car dies on the side of the road and you have to trek through the snow to get help?” (or was my mother the only hand-wringer?) Your toes would fall off and you still wouldn’t be stylish.
Enrique–did you mean to type “socks and scandals?” A proper Freudian slip, perhaps?
Some mens’ toes are — let’s face it — ugly. Hairy, gnarly, unkempt nails, crude. Best to keep those covered. But why shouldn’t they benefit from some ventilation?
The real sartorial faux-pas for men is shorts with socks and sandals: that’s tasteless (unless you’re an athlete or a hiker.) But long pants, with socks and sandals? That’s “euro style” and if you’ve got your look together, it’s cool. Americans don’t understand such things. Go to a major European city, look around, and realize that most American men don’t know how to dress.
Womens’ toes are usually nice. One rarely sees a woman with ugly toes unless she has abused them for many years in high heels.
I don’t know, K*Free kind of has a nice look. I also noticed that he is in Seattle. You could argue it is cultural dress in Seattle.
Or, Ouiser, might you also consider certain aesthetic characteristics grounds for acceptable displays of socks & sandals? For instance, if you have blue hair, then you may wear socks & sandals.
I wear wool socks, so even if they are wet, they stay warm. I am a perpetual sandal wearer, so I don’t change in the winter. Maybe that’s why people look at me funny when I’m out.
Kyle - can you pull off the socks & crocs? Speaking off, I saw in a magazine this month, that you can send your old crocs back to Crocs and they will recycle them into new ones.
My crocs are a little tight, so I have to use thinner socks, but the answer is yes.
But wait! What about all the cute tights and high-heeled sandals for Fall? We can’t forget them, and they are totally acceptable (when done correctly). I think we need to add another catagory to acceptable uses of open toed shoes and “toe coverings”…
High heeled sandals? Tights? I need a visual! All I can see is panty hose and an orthopedic wedged sandal in my mind and it’s a disaster!
Love the article Im down with the No Mandles(No Sandles in Public)
It get’s more confusing: How about socks with Teva’s Wraptors, with the partly-covered toe?
I had to google Teva Wraptor. And then I threw up in my mouth. A) why would you wear that? B) why would you make it worse by wearing socks? If you have an open toe, doesn’t that mean your toes should be exposed?? I just don’t get it. Same goes for Keens (better aesthetic, IMO, but definitely sans socks).
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